Yesterday on the bus home from a wonderfully relaxing
weekend at the beach I made the mistake of Googling “which year of medical
school is the hardest” on my phone. About three minutes into reading a thread
on the topic posted on a medical student forum my feelings had turned from restfulness
to woe. I have a general rule about doing this (it’s to NOT) but I broke it and
I regretted it immediately.
Although I only browsed through about fifteen messages written
by students at various points of their medical education, most of them were
very disheartening. According to what I read, every year of medical school
(except maybe the second half of M4) is not only difficult but unbearable and
that misery, depression, and maybe even a complete mental break should be
expected.
So clearly at this point I am feeling pretty nervous and
unsettled. But then I started thinking about the actual people I know who are
currently in medical school. They are all hardworking, dedicated students, a few
of which had to apply more than once to get in. None of them fit a “traditional”
applicant profile 100% (going straight from college to med school with a perfect
GPA and outstanding MCAT and a list of extracurricular activities 25 feet long)
and I know it hasn’t been easy but everything I’ve heard from them has been the
complete opposite of what I was reading on the internet.
Yes, they tell me it is hard, it is emotionally challenging
and physically draining. But no, they never tell me they hate it or that it’s
unmanageable. Instead they talk about how it’s worth it. They get the
opportunity to learn amazing things everyday and they wouldn’t trade that for
anything. I have an acquaintance who is an M4 at a school in Boston currently
and I ran into him randomly a little while ago and we chatted about how his year
was going. He told me quite frankly that rotations were rough- you work with
difficult patients, don’t have a lot of time off for a social life and never
get enough sleep but that he was learning so much and was loving it. It was so
encouraging to hear. I see his status updates on Facebook all the time and for
the most part, they’re always so upbeat they put a little sunshine into my day.
After I got home last night I was on the phone with a very
close friend of mine who just finished his first year and has a similar
attitude about school and he made me feel so much better after my foray into
studentdoctor.net. He loves being in medical school all the time, even when it’s
so difficult and stressful it’s hard to handle, and that gave me hope. Every conversation
I have with him, even when he’s studying for an exam or waiting to get test
grades back, he’s still so happy to be where he is. Obviously it’s not easy,
telling anyone that would just be a lie, but he told me something really
important that I think we all need to remember and that is: most of the opinion
on the internet is from students who are unhappy or dissatisfied. You don’t
usually hear from the ones who work hard and do well because they have nothing
to complain about so it is essential to take what you hear with a grain of salt
and not let it get you down. Because if you’re willing to work hard, if you’re
in it for the right reasons, you will do well and that is all that matters.
As an aside I should mention that there is a higher prevalence of anxiety & depression among medical students (actually students in general) but that there are always resources to help cope and NO ONE should feel stigmatized or afraid to use them! We all need a hand (or a hug) sometimes :)